December 22
Betrothed
Matthew 1:18
Now the birth of Jesus Christ was as follows: After His mother Mary was betrothed to Joseph, before they came together, she was found with child of the Holy Spirit.
One of the first bits of confusion in the New Testament birth narratives is trying to figure out what really was the relationship between Joseph and Mary. The man Joseph clearly was at one point conflicted and, as we have examined already, it took divine intervention for him to not make the obvious decision. His conflict is hard to appreciate if we don’t first understand his context.
We are told that Mary was betrothed to Joseph, “Now in the sixth month the angel Gabriel was sent by God to a city of Galilee named Nazareth, to a virgin betrothed to a man whose name was Joseph, of the house of David. The virgin’s name was Mary.” Luke 1:26-27. Some translators here use “engaged” for “betrothed”.
In the very next verse, he is described as her husband, “Then Joseph her husband, being a just man, and not wanting to make her a public example, was minded to put her away secretly.” Matthew 1:19. And thereafter in this section she is described as his wife, as we see in our key verse. Some translators of this verse use “divorce her” for the NKJV’s “put her away”.
Jewish marriage, at time and context at least, was made up of three stages, engagement, betrothal, marriage proper. There were significant gaps in this process, for example, the engagement often took place while those to be married were still children. There is no surprise there because matchmaking was alive and well. And still is in some places I might add.
By the time they were of the age to be married we had the second act, betrothal. In the Jewish culture the covenant of betrothal was made about a year before the actual marriage. Once betrothed, the couple had entered an arrangement that was a much more binding relationship than engagement as we know it. In that arrangement, there were no sexual relations of any kind, but a betrothed woman is called a “wife,” and the man, a husband. So much so that the betrothal could only be broken by divorce. This explains why Matthew uses the terms “wife” and “husband” while making it clear that they weren’t married and hadn’t had sex.
So, it was during the one-year period of betrothal that Mary was found to be pregnant. And this is what leads to all the conflicts that Joseph experienced. Joseph evidently wanted to divorce Mary on the grounds of infidelity. Understanding the context, we know now that divorce proceedings would have had to be initiated because they had already made a marriage covenant, the betrothal.
There were divorce options in the system. Joseph could have gone the public route like we saw in the passage from Deuteronomy that we looked at a week or so ago, or he could have gone through a private ceremony before two witnesses. It is here that we learn the first character trait about Joseph, that he was a gracious man and opted to take the private route.
Joseph is among those people I keep referring to as the forgotten persons of the “Christmas” story. We don’t usually spend any time thinking about or meditating on Joseph. But that is a mistake. We talked about Christmas music the last couple of days and, unfortunately, apart from Jospeh being a silent person in Christmas art, the only artist who gave him a voice is Jose Feliciano in The Cherry Tree Carol. Feliciano’s Joseph is a grumpy character angry at his lot.
In this apocryphal story of Joseph and pregnant Mary heading to Bethlehem by way of a cherry orchard to comply with the census, attempts to show that Joseph was really angry and basically tells her to get cherries from her child-father. The domestic spat forced an intervention from the unborn baby that then caused Mary to puff her chest and brag. Feliciano’s family in this story is dysfunctional.
Then up spoke Virgin Mary
So meek and so mild:
“Joseph, gather me some cherries,
For I am with child.”
“Joseph, gather me some cherries,
For I am with child.”
Then Joseph flew in anger,
In anger flew he,
“Let the father of thy baby
Gather cherries for thee!
“Let the father of thy baby
Gather cherries for thee!
This is a false narrative, taken from false accounts, and the besmirches Joseph’s character. We have already seen Matthew establish that he was a gracious man who, though hurt, was gracious in shielding Mary from the public humiliation his divorce petitions could have caused, and the complete embarrassment of her family. It is very possible that their families were close.
The thing that we miss about Joseph is the access that God had to him and his responsiveness to God. He was betrothed to Mary but already in covenant with God. Evidently his first choice was based on the influence and “presence” of God in his life. But after that we have four distinct occasions in the birth narratives that show God being able to talk to Joseph and that Joseph knew that it was the voice of God and acted.
Let us close today with the four encounters,
First, “But while he thought about these things, behold, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream, saying, “Joseph, son of David, do not be afraid to take to you Mary your wife, for that which is conceived in her is of the Holy Spirit.” Matthew 1:20.
Second, “Now when they had departed, behold, an angel of the Lord appeared to Joseph in a dream, saying, “Arise, take the young Child and His mother, flee to Egypt, and stay there until I bring you word; for Herod will seek the young Child to destroy Him.”” Matthew 2:13.
Third, “Now when Herod was dead, behold, an angel of the Lord appeared in a dream to Joseph in Egypt, saying, “Arise, take the young Child and His mother, and go to the land of Israel, for those who sought the young Child’s life are dead.”” Matthew 2:19-20.
Finally, fourth, “But when he heard that Archelaus was reigning over Judea instead of his father Herod, he was afraid to go there. And being warned by God in a dream, he turned aside into the region of Galilee.” Matthew 2:22.
Think on these things:
- Do you live your life before God in sexual purity?
- Do you display graciousness in situations where you have been hurt or offended by others?
- Does God have access to you by His Spirit, do you hear and obey?
Prayer focus:
Let us pray today that we would be available to God to hear His voice and do His will.
In His Grace
Pastor Alex