December 11
Virginity
Matthew 1:19
Then Joseph her husband, being a just man, and not wanting to make her a public example, was minded to put her away secretly.
Guys want to marry a virgin. Good, we got that out of the way quickly.
First-time sexual intercourse for a woman established a blood covenant between the newly married couple, this is the design. In contemporary times that might not be a big deal for some. Many young people have been living together first, called trial marriage in the 80s, before deciding to actually get married. Many many more young people are sexually active with the age of initiation getting constantly lower. Sexual activity in these situations is never considered to be a commitment or covenantal. The chances of a guy finding and marrying a virgin might soon be slim to nothing.
However, the birth narrative of Jesus took place in occupied Israel over 2,000 years ago. It was a different time, and a very different culture. It was normal for a man to expect that he was getting married to a virgin. There are romantic aspects to this matter of virginity and its loss. These are captured well by the 1970 Betty Wright hit, Tonight’s is the night. Madonna’s 1984, Like a Virgin, is a song with a totally different background but some of the ideas of the freshness and desirability of virginity carry over.
The Roman Catholics, and some other denominations, hold on to a doctrine of Mary’s perpetual virginity that has no basis in scripture and that seems to make the joys of sex and the ‘loss’ of virginity, negative things. This is very unfortunate. I grew up in an Anglican home and attended Roman Catholic High School and still remember reciting the confessional in the liturgy saying, “I ask blessed Mary, ever virgin, [along with some others and Father] to pray to the Lord God for me.
Joseph, one of the neglected players in the Christmas retelling of the birth narrative faced some difficult choices. For one, his supposedly virgin fiancé is pregnant. Now how could this be? Joseph, as a Jewish Man from the Abrahamic-Davidic line would be very familiar with the Law.
Here is what it says in Deuteronomy 22:13-15, “If any man takes a wife, and goes in to her, and detests her, and charges her with shameful conduct, and brings a bad name on her, and says, ‘I took this woman, and when I came to her I found she was not a virgin,’ then the father and mother of the young woman shall take and bring out the evidence of the young woman’s virginity to the elders of the city at the gate.” You can read the remainder for yourself later.
Joseph felt just as strongly about Mary’s action and condition as any other man of his time and persuasion would have. As far as he was concerned, he was deceived, she was not what she and her parents presented her to be. And there was really no need for bloody sheets at the city gate because he didn’t sleep with her yet and she was pregnant already.
The day was saved, first because Joseph was a good man. Joseph was contemplating how he could separate from her without the public drama. And public drama it would be because the proper consequences for her conduct was a stoning to death at her father doorway by the men of her city (see Deuteronomy 22:20-21).
It would seem, though, that once Joseph went to sleep God had his attention. Joseph receives and executes a series of instructions from the angel of the Lord. As a result, Joseph moved from struggling with the issue of Mary’s virginity, or the loss of it, to playing an outsized role in God’s redemption plan for sinful men.
Joseph kept his young family together in full public view despite his wife being pregnant before the marriage was consummated. In doing this Joseph kept Mary’s baby away from those intent on killing Him. Joseph, by his actions, ensured the fulfilment of Old Testament prophecy, confirming for us that Jesus was the expected Messiah.
Today we glibly sing the words, “The Virgin Mary had a baby boy / The Virgin Mary had a baby boy / The Virgin Mary had a baby boy / And they say that His name was Jesus,” without any reference to Joseph. Completely ignoring both the personal and social challenges he faced marrying a woman who apparently lost her virginity, but thereby participating in securing the way of salvation for us.
Think on these things:
- In the prevailing environment of early sexual initiation and sexual freedom do you think it is possible to uphold the biblical standard for sexual conduct?
- How does your sexual history line up with what you know God requires of His faithful children?
- Have you sensed in your spirit that God is pulling you in a new direction in your walk with Him and is your sexual conduct in the way of submitting totally to Him?
Prayer focus:
Let us pray today that we would guard our sexual conduct, staying within the biblical lines for sexual purity.
In His Grace
Pastor Alex