Friday, March 16, 2018
Comfort
Matthew 5:4
Blessed are those who mourn, For they shall be comforted.
Death, grief, and suffering strike every home and family at one point or the other. My cousins and I in my generation of the family have had too much experience with death. My memories of dealing with death go back to 1972 when our grandfather died in November, and then as we tried to recover, our grandmother died a month later, the day before Christmas Eve.
News of death always travelled quickly, long before it had the legs of social media to carry it. Now that news is as instant as everything. Now, even before we get word to all the family, total strangers are expressing condolences. The phones don’t stop ringing, the messages and posts don’t stop coming, and people don’t stop showing up at the door.
Here is an almost amusing anecdote. In February 2015 Facebook, as it does, brought up an old post about my mother’s death on her death anniversary to remind me of the old post from that date and encouraged me to share it. I doubt that I was posting to Facebook in 2005 and this might have been posted after. Anyway, it being the 10th anniversary of her death, I decided to share the memory on my Facebook timeline. To my surprise, because of Facebook, I got more messages of comfort that day than I got at the time of her passing ten years earlier, including messages from persons who didn’t read carefully and thought that she had just died.
This is why Jesus said that those who mourn would be blessed by the comfort that they receive from others. People show up in your time of grief and distress. It’s the way we are built. Look at examples of death and the associated mourning during the ministry of Jesus and we see gatherings of those who came to mourn with those who mourn.
In the case of the death of Lazarus, “many of the Jews had joined the women around Martha and Mary, to comfort them concerning their brother.” John 11:19. Then in the case of the widow at Nain, “when He came near the gate of the city, behold, a dead man was being carried out, the only son of his mother; and she was a widow. And a large crowd from the city was with her.” Luke 7:12. The same happened at the home of Jairus when his daughter died, “He came to the house of the ruler of the synagogue, and saw a tumult and those who wept and wailed loudly.” Mark 5:38
There is also the story of Dorcas during Peter’s ministry. “Peter went with them, and when he arrived he was taken upstairs to the room. All the widows stood around him, crying and showing him the robes and other clothing that Dorcas had made while she was still with them.” Acts 9:39.
The high point for this in the scriptures, of course, is the whole story of Job whose friends came and sat with him as he mourned the loss of his children, as well as the loss of everything material thing he owned.
People need to be allowed to grieve. Tears and mourning are an important aspect of our true understanding of life. Tears are a way that we heal spiritually, emotionally, and science tell us, physically too.
Tears also help us to reach out to God, here is the strong man David, in a totally different context of course, but the principle is the same, “The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit, A broken and a contrite heart— These, O God, You will not despise. Psalm 51:17.
In a devotional on February 1, 2018, Fr. Richard Rohr wrote that “Tears seem ridiculous in a culture like ours which is so focused on diversions and entertainment, and are especially a stumbling block to men. Crying will make us look vulnerable. So many men hold back tears. Is it no wonder men don’t live as long as women, on average? We must teach all young people how to cry. Now, in my later years, I finally understand why Saints Francis and Clare cried so much, and why the saints spoke of “the gift of tears.”
When you have mourned, when you have cried, when you have been comforted, you learn a vital lesson in both receiving and giving comfort. A relative of mine, who lost her husband early, shared how much she learned about the grieving process. Today, she has been able to help quite a few other women deal with the loss of their husbands.
The Apostle Paul put it this way, “Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.” 2 Corinthians 1:3,4. It is the Holy Spirit who is the ultimate comforter but He uses us as the instruments of comfort to others as we ourselves have been comforted.
Today, after life has taken its toll on me, and many protective layers were peeled away exposing me at a deeper level, I find that to cry is an involuntary reflex that reflects a freedom to grieve over my own loss and to also grieve with others. Weathered by life, exfoliated with time, we are better able to grieve and to do “grief-work.” We’re blessed.
Think on these things:
- If you have ever lost a loved one, think again about your own grieving process, can you remember those who brought you comfort?
- What experiences have shaped your response to loss and grief?
- Do you think that you are adequate to the task of providing comfort to those who now suffer loss?
Prayer focus:
Let us pray today that we would find comfort in the God of comfort and be better able to comfort others.
In His Grace
Pastor Alex
