Tuesday, July 3, 2018
Dashed hopes
Psalm 42:5
Why are you cast down, O my soul? And why are you disquieted within me? Hope in God, for I shall yet praise Him for the help of His countenance.
I was visiting friends in Georgia a few years and they had persuaded me not to rent a car but to use one of theirs. One day my friend’s wife needed a ride to work and, on the way, she told me about her job. She is a psychiatrist who spends her days talking to people who come to sit on her couch and pay her to talk to them for an hour at a time.
I was intrigued, I spend countless hours talking to people for free. She told me that she was being paid to play the role of that older wiser relative that once upon a time we all had. For her, when our families were intact, especially the extended family, and when our families were mostly in the same village or not too far away, there was always someone in the family we could talk to. A grandmother, a great aunt, or a loud uncle. Today, too many people are isolated with their heartbreaks and disappointments.
A quick look at the news wherever we are reveals an increase in the recorded and reported suicides of people with one disorder or the other, one complaint or the other, one disappointment or the other. The persons committing suicides now cover the broadest range of demographics and other indicators including age, gender, race, religion, location, income level and the like. From the previously unknown man at the back of an underdeveloped country farmland in parts unknown to Anthony Bourdain.
The causes of suicide and other forms of personal violence are complex and well beyond the scope of our discussion here. However, what we do know is that one cause is disappointment – dashed hopes.
Countless people feel defeated and let down by disappointing circumstances and situations. Many of us are disappointed in ourselves, we haven’t achieved the goals we had set in our youth. Gaols for education, occupation, health, family and even ministry. Some of us cannot even keep our resolutions made a few months ago at the turn of the new year, much less decades ago at the end of high school.
Many of us are disappointed in our spouse, the hopes and the dreams we shared and the vows we made to secure them were all squashed, some violently right before our very eyes and even as we still hoped. Others of us are disappointed in our children, somehow the hopes we had for them were so different from the dreams and hopes they started to put together for themselves.
Others of us have been let down by other relatives, and by friends, teammates, co-workers, and the like. And still, some of us have been let down by church folk, people with whom we have prayed in a circle, broken bread during communion, and high-fived when that charismatic visiting preacher struck a chord in our souls. And the list goes on.
Every day in our lives we are very exposed to heartbreak and so, in theory, at least, we should be better prepared for dashed hopes through aborted dreams, broken relationships, lost assets, and the big killer – death.
And, like we said already, these not just come in different forms, but in different places, our families, our workplaces, our neighbourhood, our community, and our countries.
Disappointment sometimes leads to depression and despair and we shrink back from everything. Some who worship God even shrink back from Him. This is a particular crisis point for the Christian.
When our strong faith and deepest hopes are challenged and confronted by an unexpected turn of events, or when our fervent prayers are not answered the way we expected, or when our dreams are shattered, and we are disappointed. Once that disappointment settles in we move into despair, a sickness of the heart.
Hope and desire are the things that give us life, a reason to get up every morning and stick to it. The daily grind is not often pretty but hard as it is it is beautified by the images of our hopes and desires. That is why dashed hopes kick the life out of us and sometimes cause some to want to take whatever life is left. That is the point of the proverb that is our text today, Proverbs 13:12.
But our response can make all the difference. Frustrations can be either an opportunity for spiritual growth or a destructive blow. Those of us who know Jesus can turn to him when the inevitable blows come. “Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.” Matthew 11:25- 30
This might sound airy-fairy but take this from someone who has had his hopes dashed – faced disappointment in myself, faced death in the family, suffered the disintegration of my most precious relationship, been let down by others including family, friends, business people, and church people.
Believe me that “the testing of your faith produces patience.” James 1:3. Believe me that “casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you,” 1 Peter 5:7, is not just words and platitudes. Jesus restores desire and once again a tree springs to life where taking one’s life might have threatened.
Let me leave this with you today. “Though the fig tree may not blossom, Nor fruit be on the vines; Though the labor of the olive may fail, And the fields yield no food; Though the flock may be cut off from the fold, And there be no herd in the stalls— Yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will joy in the God of my salvation. The Lord God is my strength; He will make my feet like deer’s feet, And He will make me walk on my high hills. Habakkuk 3:17-19
Think on these things:
- How have you dealt with your own dashed hopes and other disappointments?
- Do you have a friend or relative who has recently suffered disappointment, and do you know how they are dealing with it?
- Does your church have a system for responding to crisis?
Prayer focus:
Let us pray today that we would seek godly counsel when we are disappointed and we would be prepared to support those who are dealing with disappointment
In His Grace
Pastor Alex
