Monday, June 11, 2018
Doing daddy
1Thessalonians 2:10-12
You are witnesses, and God also, how devoutly and justly and blamelessly we behaved ourselves among you who believe; as you know how we exhorted, and comforted, and charged every one of you, as a father does his own children, that you would walk worthy of God who calls you into His own kingdom and glory.
A very good friend of mine called me last week for some help. He is a father of four children and, with Father’s Day coming up this Sunday he wanted to prepare four similar gifts for them. I was taken aback because I thought that Father’s Day is the day that your children get you gifts. There I was wondering what gift my son would get me and my friend was going off in the opposite direction.
My son has a lot of choices, the newspapers today are replete with special offers for Father’s Day. There are deals on cars, phones, other electronics, and so on. The deals on new television sets are particularly attractive with the FIFA World Cup games about to get going in Russia. Unfortunately, my son is a minor and I won’t get any of these items.
But back to my friend. I have been working overtime over the last few days to help him put together these gifts for his four children. At his urging, I am getting a similar item for my son, and I am getting a bulk done so that on Sunday, each father in our church could get one for each of their children. We may be starting a little revolution, fathers giving gifts on Father’s Day.
My friend told me that he wants something to remind his children of what being their father has meant to him, and what are his dreams for them as people. He said that he doesn’t need a gift from them, what he wants is for them to remember the values he taught, the path he set, and the pattern he showed. What he wants from them in return is not gifts, not material things, but that they follow his teaching, and his example.
When he said this to me it forced me to think about my life and about my activities as a father. Whether I am teaching values, whether I am setting a clear path, and whether am I living a life that is a pattern for my son to follow.
Writing to the Thessalonian Christians, the apostle Paul was praising them for their spiritual maturity and commitment to the faith. The Thessalonian Christians had distinguished themselves all over their region. They had become “examples to all in Macedonia and Achaia who believe.” And from them “the word of the Lord has sounded forth, not only in Macedonia and Achaia, but also in every place.” 1 Thessalonians 1:7,8.
Though not writing or addressing fatherhood at all, Paul traced the Thessalonian model of faith and faithfulness back to fatherhood. Paul’s argument to the Thessalonians is that the believers there were treated by the apostles the way a father is supposed to treat his children. And it is there we get a glimpse of the apostle’s high view of fatherhood and its consequences in the lives of children.
In our key text above, 1Thessalonians 2:10-12, he writes that fathers do the job of encouraging, comforting and urging their children to live lives worthy of God. However, doing this work is grounded in a father’s example of living a life that is devout, just, and blameless. The two things come together like the two sides of a coin.
There is a worn-out version of doing daddy. A version that is made up of daddy being a feared disciplinarian that children are warned, often by their mother, to fall in line or fall into his terror upon hearing her report on his arrival. This is far from the nurturing and caring role model Paul described here.
This does not mean that discipline is not important and encouraged in the New Testament, in the letter to the Hebrews the matter of father’s being responsible for discipline is reaffirmed. “Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons. For what son is not disciplined by his father?” Hebrews 12:7 NIV1984.
Another point of this description of fatherhood is that it focuses on the issues of nurture over those of nature. My own father, who never played a nurturing role in my life, had once expressed surprise about a decision I made as an adult. In his mind, no son of his would have done that. I was surprised that he was surprised. The genes were not powerful enough to alter my decision making. He needed to be there and by his example, teaching, and encouragement shape my values and decision making. He didn’t.
Since nurture is what is important, the role of father could be played by any other male apart from the biological father; every stepfather, adoptive father, foster father (formal or informal), or father figure in a child’s life can be the one who encourages, comforts, and urges the child or children to live godly lives by following their example.
Children who love and appreciate their fathers will get them a gift if they have the ability, resources, and a little help from their mother or another relative. But men who are really doing daddy will give and give more.
Think on these things:
- Was your father one who encouraged, comforted and urged you to live a life worthy of God?
- How much has your father influenced the type of person that you have turned out to be?
- Does your church have any programmes to support children without effective fathering or to help men to be better equipped for their roles as fathers?
Prayer focus:
Let us pray today for the fathers in our family and our church, that they would live godly lives and be an example that the children could follow.
In His Grace
Pastor Alex
